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21 June 2009 @ 11:21 pm
mistakes we knew we were making 2/?  

Her first vision as she plunged down the ladder was of blonde hair. Everywhere. Just like Barbie and Ken. lost missing scene from Follow the Leader kate/sawyer

a/n: Takes place during Follow the Leader right after Kate leaves Jack.


Kate stopped trudging through the jungle after a mere two minutes, allowing Jack to catch up with her. She paused, eerily certain that she was alone. She turned around, shifting her weight from one hip to the other, straining her eyes to see behind her.

There was nothing but nature.

Jack wasn’t coming after her. He wasn’t even going to try to reason with her to see things his way. He wasn’t coming at all.

She marched onward, wondering if she was doing the right thing.

Jack wanted to stop the plane crash from ever happening. But what would that mean for her? For everyone?

She’d be in jail. That was certain. She knew this thought should be the one tugging at her, but it was the one farthest from her mind. She thought of Aaron. Where would he be? Hadn’t Claire wanted to give him up for adoption? If Claire never had landed on the island, Aaron would have been born to no one. He could live for years in an orphanage, convinced that no one loved him. The thought jerked at Kate’s heart, causing her eyes to water. She knew Aaron wasn’t hers. She knew if Claire was alive, she’d have to surrender him. She would. It would hurt like hell, but she would. But if Jack got his way, none of it would matter. Aaron wouldn’t matter.

Then there was Charlie to think about. What of him? He’d be alive, which was good in hindsight. But he’d also still be an addict, with no Claire or Aaron to tear him away from his addiction. He’d most likely become nothing more than a washed up has been. Kate shook her head. That was no way for Charlie to go down. He’d died, yes, but he’d died a hero, the way he would have wanted it. He died for Claire and Aaron, for a higher purpose. And now, Jack wanted to rip that away from him. But for what?

She forced herself to inhale deeply, willing her pulse to steady. She’d get nowhere from being emotional. She needed to convince Juliet and Sawyer to help her and the only way they’d be swayed to do so would be if she exhibited no emotion. Sawyer seemed ready to burst whenever around her, an anger she couldn’t recognize. What the hell had she done to him, anyway? Juliet’s edginess was understandable, of course if she knew how harsh Sawyer was around her, Juliet probably would have been much nicer to her. Still, Kate wasn’t much worried about Juliet. It was Sawyer she had to persuade.

Halfway to the camp she realized what she’d been debating all along. She was ready to fight against Jack, to combat his rationale, to attack him. He was willing to erase everything; all of their friends, their successes, her. He didn’t give a damn about her. What stung most was the fact that this realization didn’t bother her as much as it ought to. If he wanted to erase her from his memory, well she was just fine with that. He wasn’t the same man she’d fallen in love with all of those years ago. He’d changed, and not to her liking. They hardly recognized each other anymore. They were strangers in thick skins, their only connection existing in the past, a connection he was ready to sever forever.

If Sawyer wouldn’t listen to her, she knew how to sway Juliet to side with her. If Jack succeeded, then that meant that Juliet would have never met Sawyer. They would have never fallen in love. They’d never so much as glance at one another. That reasoning would reach Juliet. She’d convince Sawyer to listen to Kate, if only to save their relationship.

The whole plan was so damn ironic, it made Kate sick. She had to pretend to be looking out for Juliet. She had to waltz up to them, plaster a pretty little smile on her dirty face, and lie through her teeth. She needed Juliet to believe her, because Sawyer knew her to well. He’d smell her fib from a mile away and he’d believe Kate cooked up some crazy scheme to win him back. He’d doubt her, because he knew her and what she was capable of. He’d be reluctant.

But, if Sawyer loved Juliet as much as he claimed to, he’d eventually come around to Kate’s logic. He’d understand that he’d have to help her stop Jack. And he would either succeed or die trying.

Kate swallowed bitterly. She’d spent three damn years trying to rid herself of his memory, of his face, of his smell. Three damn years and the entire time, he’d been playing house with Juliet, eager to forget Kate, not even considering that she might be out there thinking of him.

If it hadn’t been for Aaron, she would have been on the first plane back to the island. She knew that innately. But she had a responsibility to Claire and even to Jack. She couldn’t disappear. She couldn’t risk her life. She thought Sawyer would have understood that.

Apparently, he understood all too well. In fact, he seemed irritated that she’d come back at all. Like she should have thought better. Like she should have predicted he’d fall in love with someone else. Like she should have lived with the guilt.

They spotted her before she spotted them. They tied her wrists and someone clamped a hand over her mouth.

“Get her to the sub,” one of them beckoned, and she felt her legs following mechanically behind the man pulling her. Her eyes flittered back and forth, looking for any signs of Sawyer or Juliet.


They pushed her onto the top of the sub. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, forgetting. Maybe it would be the best thing after all. Perhaps Jack was right. Forgetting Sawyer might be worth it after all.


His bright face flashed before her eyes and she was ashamed of the selfish thoughts. She was a terrible mother. She fought back tears, more determined than ever to stop Jack.

Her first vision as she plunged down the ladder was of blonde hair. Everywhere. Just like Barbie and Ken. Her stomach flip-flopped. It was now or never.

“Hi,” she said meekly.

Current Location: friend's basement
Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: creepy background music for the new HALLOWEEN